“I don’t need to be a big dog to do big things “

“I’ve heard people say that when they retire or have more money, then they will get outside more. They tell me that I don’t understand. I wonder if they don’t understand that tomorrow is promised to no dog, cat, squirrel, or human.”

“When my mom looks at my gray hairs, it’s a reminder that we have been on so many adventures together. My gray hair also invites her to surrender to the truth that we cant stop time.” 

So we had my movie premier in Laguna beach on November 11th 2023, around 60 people and dogs showed up. Lassen kept bothering me after the premier to go to downtown Laguna because he wanted to brag about me being a movie star to some cute poodles, because well you know he’s always chasing tail. The funny thing is Lassen is way younger than me, but all the ladies usually end up liking this silver fox over here. Ok, going back to my film…It took my mom 16 months of hard work to create a film about our story. id listen to my mom complain and self doubt and id just sit there and wag my tail and look at her like, “really you don’t need to do any movie on me…i just want you to take me seal watching and to three dog bakery!”  But she didn’t listen. And thankfully, although she was working on my film project, she still took me to bear coast coffee for free treats, seal watching in dana point harbor, and of course Three dog bakery in San Clemente. She spent months writing the script  and she wrote it from a deep place of her heart in contemplating how we are all on borrowed time. I’m really on borrowed time now being 13 years 4 months old and having my cancer progressed. My film is for anyone who’s ever loved a dog…or deeply ever loved someone. Jack Lattin, our cinematographer and editor had to put up with mom’s slow process as she produced something that she felt so under qualified to do. Josh green, the director of the film put up with my dad doing the voice recording sounding like a Jack Ass film or dumb and dumber movie…my mom had to beg dad to do the recording without different accents. They all got some laughs out of it.   During the making of our film, Josh and Jack submitted another film  they had created to the Cannes de festival in France and ended up winning an award…my mom was like ok i hope they finish our project because these guys are going to get some big offers! Well, they helped her finish it alright. Thank goodness, no more nights of her head behind that bright screen. The idea of the film was born out of dad and her going to the Banff film festival every year and even sneaking me in and we’d watch all these outdoor dawgs do crazy things in nature. After 5 years, my mom reflected back on our life  and realized we’ve been living a life of hiking so many trails together and she wanted to share our story. She had a private screening with our friends and family to show the film. I walked the red carpet with my black bow tie on. 

Aunt Leslie wrote a song about my mom and In…it’s called “In the Wind.” Aunt Leslie performed it at the premier and i hear a lot of the Dawgs in the audience needed Kleenexes. Mom plays it for me often and we sit and listen to it. Well, I’m pretty hard of hearing so she literally has to hold the iPhone up to my ear. Aunt Leslie wrote it while up at our cabin. She told me my mom she’d write a song about us and she left the cabin with her guitar and went out into nature and came back with it. My Dad did all the still photography in the film, because you know, he’s been my paparazzi the past 13 or so years. I feel bad that mom always has him take pictures of me . Gosh, she probably owes him a million dollars by now.  I can’t believe that our friends drove from far places like Topanga canyon and deep san Diego and all over just to come to my premier in Laguna beach. I will always remember this. My mom calls them our tribe who has shown more support to our family then even some of the life long friends they have.  Those people won’t read this, so my mom said it’s ok to say that.  Our film has been submitted to Banff film festival and other festivals so it can’t go public until all the submission period is done. 

We often talk about doing something we’ve always imagined and for my mom, it was creating a film. She really never thought she could do it or that she was deserving enough to do something like this. She didn’t have the means to do it, but when questioned “why” are doing this film…she said there’s things she’s learned from her strong, brave dog that she must share with the world. She wrote the film out of coping with the reality that we are all on borrowed time and we are all going to lose those we love one day. She wrote the film as she worked through her own anxiety and depression. It’s really a story to remind herself…..”Because as long as we are alive, we need to live.” She loses track of this most days so the movie will continue to remind her… She tells me that I’m the one who has shown her this. I’m actually glad she did the film because, i know it helped her to grow, she struggled so much and grew in her heart. My Dawgs what will you want to do in 2024, “with this one wild and precious life” that you’ve only dreamed of? Could it become a treat that you offer the world?

 But the truth is, I never needed a movie about me. I just needed my mom. To have a friendship like we’ve had, is everything i needed in this life. I hope when the movie comes out and if I’m not here, you will remember all the truths i share in it and you will choose to live life deeply from your heart and soul, no matter what is thrown into your bowl…heartbreak, cancer, good treats…my friends live life as passionately as i am about seals.

Until next time,

Eben